Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. “
Ephesians 4:29
There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself when you feel like you are losing hope in something you are trying to achieve. When you feel like giving up on something you have wanted for so long, you may have to believe in yourself and have faith that it is going to work out if you keep believing and pushing yourself.
There is however a difference between that and always criticizing yourself and others. There are those who just constantly look down on themselves. There are others who are extremely hard on themselves when things do not go exactly as expected. They sometimes destroy all the confidence they have built over the period when things were still promising.
They talk themselves down and act as though they have no value left in them at all. This is not a normal occurrence. As a Christian, you must not follow this trend. Christ teaches perseverance and hope. As long as there is life you must hold on to the hope that everything you desire and are working towards will come to you or be accomplished if only you never give up and encourage yourself.
As God’s child who has been made in his image, you must create the habit of speaking positively. The words of God as so powerful that he brought things into existence when he was creating the universe. As an heir to his kingdom, your words are powerful too. They are more powerful than you can imagine so you must be careful how you use them.
In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26, 27
Being hard on yourself cultivates a defeatist attitude in you. When you give the devil an inch in your head, he will take a mile in your life. He will keep telling you you are not good enough for anything. You will continue to over-criticize yourself and think you are not good at anything.
You will begin every endeavor fearing that it will crumble somewhere along the way. You won’t carry yourself with any self-confidence but rather you will always be looking for flaws in yourself and others. You may never accomplish anything positive in your life with that kind of attitude. This is why you must defeat any form of self-defeating habit.
Christ was never defeated. It didn’t matter who came at him with what, he always stood firm and believed in the one who sent him. If Christ was faced with difficulty and threats of defeat you as his follower will also face similar. You must see setbacks and tiny falls as part of your journey to victory.
You don’t get a smooth and straight road when you are traveling, do you? There must be curves, hills, and valleys to steer you toward your final destination. You must never at any point think of turning back or stopping because then you won’t reach your destination in time or at all. Sometimes when you hit a bump, it is not an indication to tear apart the whole plan.
You may just have to adjust a few steps to get to where you want to be. Give yourself a break. You are not perfect. Do not speak words like, ‘I can’t do anything right, this is going to end badly I just know it, I was just born to fail, I’m already regretting this, it will fail, my life isn’t worth anything, I knew this would go wrong.’ These utterances kill your spirit slowly and cause you to not believe in yourself anymore.
How to stop being self-critical
Speak positivity
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Psalms 141:3
Never believe that the words you speak are empty. The spirit you have accepted into you is the spirit of God and of Christ. This is the same spirit that created the universe and rose Christ from the dead. Now that you know the power you wield with your words you have to change the way to speak. Avoid saying words that demoralize your spirit.
Don’t say things that allow the devil to change the course of your life. If you face difficulty, remain bullish and speak of the positive things that have happened. Motivate yourself and tell yourself if you have come this far, then you can finish.
Look how far the Lord has brought you and use that to spur yourself onto future greatness. Avoid the statements that were mentioned in the introduction and say things like ‘I can do this, I can overcome any setback, this will not bring me down, it shall be well.’ This rekindles your spirit and gets a fire in your belly that burns to push you forward to achieve your dreams.
Don’t take setbacks personally
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Do not be overcritical when you face setbacks. Do not believe that there is something out there that is working against you. Something like taking setbacks personally and even going to the extent of thinking that they have a curse on them. Never fall into this trap. No matter how many times you stumble or fall.
Never believe that there is an omen of failure that has followed you since birth. Accepting this will place a mental block on you that may cause you to stagnate in your life. You should cultivate the habit of brushing things off you and moving forward.
Never settle for anything mediocre. If an endeavor fails, dig deeper to find out what you did wrong. Do not lazily think that it was meant to fail anyway. Pray to the Lord and follow his directions and he will let you overcome any setback.
Set achievable goals
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.”
Proverbs 15:22
Do not set goals and targets that are beyond your strength or reach. This will cause you to be disappointed and may lead to you being over-critical of yourself. You don’t have to settle for less but you must aim within reason. If you do not have something within your reach then you must control your expectations about acquiring it.
Setting goals within your reach enables you to commit your total strength toward them. It also encourages you when you see that you are making progress toward the set goal in front of you. As you reach different milestones, you get the strength and determination to reach the next one as soon as possible.
Setting unrealistic goals may cause you to think that you are not getting anywhere since your final goal may be so far away. The closer you get to your goal, the stronger and happier you will be. You will not be over-critical of yourself because you will understand your strengths and abilities in relation to your set goal.
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Don’t compare yourself to others
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.
Galatians 6:4
As a Christian, you should not have a habit of comparing yourself to others. There are those who look at the achievements and riches of others and use them as reference points for their own lives. It is impossible to accurately determine exactly what others are going to get where or what they are getting.
Do not allow yourself to be swayed by the successes of others. Look up to God at all times and be content with what he gives you. When you are in the same job with someone and they seem to be progressing at a quicker pace than you, do not criticize yourself over that. They may be involved in other businesses you may not be privy to. Keep working hard and pleasing the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Persevere
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9
When you feel like things are not getting anywhere for you, you must not despair. When it feels like you are alone in your world of failure and nothing you do seems to matter, you must press on. When you fall, you must rise again. It doesn’t matter how many times you stumble and fall, it matters how many times you rise again and persevere.
When Christ felt like his mission was too difficult to complete, he asked for guidance and strength from the Lord. This means that it is possible for you to also feel that way sometimes. When something happens to you that makes you feel like you can’t continue, know that your Father in heaven will strengthen you if you ask him. Persevering is the only way you can reach your final glorious destination.
See your victory before you start
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.
1 John 5:4
If you believe to be born of God then you must understand that you have already overcome the world through faith. It means that you must already be assured of your victory before you even start your project. Having this faith will always keep you aiming for your success in our Lord Jesus. When you know that your destination is guaranteed, you will gather more speed as you travel.
You will not be bothered by the delays or setbacks that you suffer along the way. It wouldn’t matter how many forced stops you may suffer on the way because you know that the story ends with you reaching your destination. As a Christian, you should always know that all your endeavors will have a happy ending as long as your ways are righteous and do not displease the Lord.
